I don't know if anyone remembers my delicious creation, the hamburger in a hotdog bun w/ diana's sauce but this is a continuation of my "talented" cooking series that I post every so often.

A bit of background on the relationship of omelets and I, I fucking LOVE omelets if done right. Omelets take a LOT of finesse believe it or not. The mixture of eggs to water(or cream) has to be perfect, the temperature of your stove needs to be perfect and your flipping ability and timing is crucial as well(truthfully, I suck at flipping unless I use 2 flippers). If you really want to impress a girl after a sleepover, you follow my guide to making a solid fucking omelet(DistriktTM) and she'll be sleeping over more often. It works 60% of the time, all the time.

So...

This morning I woke up and I was like, I want a solid fucking omelet, like not just that boring onions and cheese shit but a fucking solid omelet. So I went to my fridge and did a cross examination of my delicious possible ingredients. I'm feeling pretty hungry so I definitely need some meat in it and I had just the right thing.



Ingredients:

- 5 Eggs - I need my protein, I don't fuck around. I bought these at Costco and they're pretty good. I don't bother for that healthy bullshit in clear plastic containers with the omegas and all that other healthy crap.

http://i.imgur.com/qwtzxTj.jpg


- 1/4 Cup of Cream - I like adding cream to my eggs so they aren't as heavy. I know people use water but I'm not a fan. This can also be bought at Costco

http://i.imgur.com/hCbqDFP.jpg


- 1 Tablespoon of Margarine - I'm not putting butter on my pan, I like salty foods, margarine or gtfo.

http://i.imgur.com/YdbRkKF.jpg


- A shit ton of cheese - It's marble in this case, you can use any sort of cheese you want, Gouda is amazing on omelets as well, this is just preference or availability based. Can also be purchased in Costco.

http://i.imgur.com/2jEsUNV.jpg


- The X factor - I bought this 3 types of Italian meat at Walmart, I used the salami and coppa di parma. The parma is a bit spicy but who doesn't love a kick in the am.

http://i.imgur.com/sKuGOAx.jpg



Instructions:

1) Set stove right between 3 and 4. Not 3 or 4, but specifically RIGHT in the middle, this is crucial for a good cooking. I'm not cooking for some assholes in a restaurant, I don't need to burn my omelet.

http://i.imgur.com/SmU5hfg.jpg

2)Mix eggs and cream, I forgot to take a pic of this. But this is simple, break your 5 eggs, then mix, then add the cream. Piece of piss, right?

3)Put margarine in pan and move that shit around. I also forgot to take a pic of this.

4)After pouring in your eggs and waiting about 4 mins, put your meat on top before flipping. As you can see, the top isn't cooked yet and the meat will stick to the omelet this way. Let this sit for another 3-4 mins.

http://i.imgur.com/lfgto3Z.jpg

5)Once your omelet looks like the below pic,

http://i.imgur.com/5az2YLI.jpg

flip the bitch, just not like the below pic.

http://i.imgur.com/VmHAn2k.jpg.

(Yes, I fucking suck at flipping, I know. stfu.)

6)Add your cheese, use a lot, sort of like the amount in the pic below,

http://i.imgur.com/Wlcd6Sr.jpg

You shouldn't be able to see much of the omelet IF done right, it should look like this,

http://i.imgur.com/lSuEL83.jpg

7)Turn off your stove at this point and cover it to really let it melt, the final stage should look like this,

http://i.imgur.com/bRL5lWe.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/7EvunMA.jpg


Now that's how you make a solid fucking omelet. If you don't like omelets.. because you're a pancake type of guy, go fuck yourself. Pancakes have way too many carbs in them, real men get their carbs from beer. If you think this omelet will result in higher blood pressure, you're probably right but man does it taste delicious, shit it even LOOKS delicious.

Taste - 9/10 - Delicious
Preparation - 6/10 - Took a bit of work to make but still worth it.
Retard factor - 10/10 - I can't believe I wasted 20 mins to post this to an online gaming forum... Enjoy it.

Such a 'I drive a Ford F150' post Roman.

Dining with Distrikt(TM)

i love it, i cant wait for your next dish i love the pics :D.

A++

Thumbs down for margarine and half and half. Use less eggs so it's a thin layer and roll it. End result should look like this - http://foodnetwork.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/food/fullset/2013/12/9/0/FNK_French-Omelet_s4x3.jpg.rend.sni18col.jpeg

come over and i'll make you one (seriously) (no homo)

Also, missing Dianas sauce, huge thumbs down for that

eh, it looks a bit too pretty to fit my shit farmer personality. where's the grease? where's the "i drink keiths and this is what my omelet looks like"?

im game for an omelet date sometime. im heading up to whitecourt tonight for a few days.

edit: LOL, i posted the original post in pl, im not x-posting it here. you guys can see it there + a topless pic of me.

i had to use olive oil for so long with eggs... just to avoid margarine, everything was so plain. Ugh, hateful... I'm glad I'm past tht phase

Sara lets go for sushi

What the fuck is Diana's sauce? Is that some shit like pencil crayons and mare-e-oh?

I plan on coming back weekly for distrikt cooking tips.

Diana's sauce is the best bbq sauce ever. It's sugary based but god damn man. If you marinated the meat w/ beer or something a bit more bitter and then add Diana's sauce, it's the best combo of sweet/sour possible.

Diana's Sauce is tasty stuff

On the next episode of Dining with Distrikt, distrikt takes us back to our roots with a new spin on mac n cheese.

So yes, it's Canadian.

I snack on these

Yes he will make a recipe for kraft dinner with Diana's sauce and maple syrup.