Pistor's Crew Takes Another Swing

by Romulocks · March 1, 2025 · 9 views · Season 26 · Cocaine

Was this writeup helpful? 👍 5 👎 0

💡

Pistor's Crew, of whom I have dubbed 'Alphabet Soup', have been on quite the journey over the past several seasons. After leaving the safe bosom of Sov, Pistor allowed his wings to spread and take flight himself - captaining a mid-tier squad for a couple of seasons while trying to find his footing both as a leader and a player. But over the past four seasons this rag-tag group of "2nd Stringers" have built an incredible chemistry in their play, and last season were able to stay in first place in the league until nearly the bitter end. And while playoffs didn't go exactly the way they wanted, they still achieved something pretty incredible finishing in second place to a strong Birds squad who just proved too much for them to compete against in open terrain. But Pistor took those lessons from last season and his squad is back for Season 26 new and improved. We still have the familiar faces from last season - Kevin, Leak, Splittah, The Mountain, Danny, Pistor and Victim. But Cocaine is one helluva drug, and it's dangerous allure has proven too strong to resist for USL heavyweights who have flocked to Pistor's side like moths to a flame. Shasta McNasta (hp=1), Dave, and the LMG-powerhouse Easoe have joined up, and Pistor is hoping they are exactly the players he needed to push his team over the line for the Championship. I think they would've have a great chance to truly compete for that but-for the existence of the squad K Dude, who have the strongest lineup in recent USL history. I see Cocaine winning every game they play ultimately except for their two meetings with K Dude, regardless of side selection. I think the Darkslayers games could particularly be interesting, and may come down to the wire, but I think Cocaine takes both of them right now in the end. All the other games should be solid victories, and Cocaine are an improved version of Jersey Boys from Season 25. Overall: 8.25/10 - #2 Squad in Romulocks Power Rankings for Season 26

👥 Player Notes

God

Easoe is and has always been an excellent marine. He brings a ruthless, aggressive mentality to any team he plays for, and when the team is playing together and pushing appropriately, Easoe glides through the battle slaying all who lay before him. However, when the battle goes poorly, Easoe can frequently die out of position, or find himself cut off from the rest of the team in his desire to encourage aggressive playstyles. His aim is tremendous, as are his LAW snipes. The question on Cocaine is does he play LMG over Leak, as he is probably the most accurate rifle on this squad at the moment. Either way he will be an effective tool for Cocaine this season and would mesh very well with what they've got going on. My only question is whether Easoe ends up migrating over to K Dude to be reunited with his compadres. The No Errors in the System Award winner last season for Most Kills in the Season, Easoe is going to look to put up huge numbers again in Season 26.

THE MOUNTAIN

The Mountain is an incredibly talented player that brings a lot of things to the table. SV is capable of playing a high level as a solo scout, flanker, or main offensive marine. His streams are deadly accurate, as are his LAWs. His ability to read the field is also very high, giving him advantages in flank positioning before the enemy knows even what's happening often. He does have a twinge of overaggressive qualities, and if he could master that impulse I think The Mountain could be the X Factor for this squad that makes them even more competitive with K Dude.

Pistor deserves a boost to his rating because of how successfully he can walk and chew bubble gum at the same time. It's widely understood in USL that leading a squad requires that a player take a significant hit to their individual play quality. It's a sacrifice that squads have understood and accepted. But Pistor has broken that mold, given that he has improved, both in terms of leadership and play quality, steadily season by season. The last two seasons I would define Pistor as a deadly marine, with consistently high accuracy and quality positioning which net him a really great kill/death ratio on the season. While he may not be the best player for a duel, (as Kevin told us on USL Live) Pistor is the glue that brings this whole team together and he knows the strengths and weaknesses of each member of his team better than they probably understand themselves.

Kevin is underrated. He is the king of intangibles. Kevin was a very above average marine in his day, but he seems to have found his calling in reviving the oft-unused grenadier class, and in the process he has become one of the greatest grenadiers in league history. Although he is lethal with both, generally speaking he is far better at using 40mm shells than he is mortars, and that makes him an issue for most squads to deal with. If you don't pay attention to him, Kevin will capitalize and make your team pay for unwise pushes and hugging to close to physics that he can lob shots over. And if a team does devote time to thinking about him, he can be the distraction that the rest of his team can use and take advantage of to seek better positioning to corral their opponents. Although Kevin seemed to trail off a bit towards the end of last season, I think the best for him is yet to come and I think Season 26 could be that season when he finds another gear.

hvk

In the past three seasons Havok has demonstrated the versatility of his gameplay, shifting from a dueling killer to an offensively-minded top-tier medic. He might be one of the best players at dodging in the game and that plays a huge factor in his survivability in tight matches. He contributes in huge amounts on offense with his accurate PDW, and frequently will put as many kills on the board as your average marine. Occasionally his aggressive streak will get the better of him and he will push into a poor position and leave himself exposed, but even that isn't a guaranteed death for this talented player who has some of the more impressive evading in recent memory. Havok is a big part of Pistor's gameplan week after week, and he is constantly vying for best medic in the league.

Leak

Leak is also a veteran marine and league player who is fully capable of being the top dog on this roster. His streams can be often deadly, and he thinks outside the box with positioning and LAWs leading to big kills and battle openers. His weakness is also probably his inconsistency, where sometimes he shrinks from the spotlight play or finds an opponent player who just has his number in duels, limiting his ability to impact the game. But I have high hopes for Leak this season, as he is poised to be competing for best player on this roster along with Easoe and The Mountain, surrounded by talent and capable players. Cocaine needs him to be the juggernaut on the field allowing players like Kevin to take advantage of the attention he demands.

Shasta

Shasta McNasta (hp=1) is one of the oldest players in this game as a fellow skirmish pub player like myself. A passive player by nature, he typically likes to wait for openings to seize on and exploit, and he does a good job with positioning even when others aren't successfully following his example. His weakness is two-fold: his inconsistent aim and his over-passive play at times. Shasta has off days, and that bleeds over into his gameplay somewhat and particularly seems to impact his ability to hit his target at 15% of his shots vs. 55% of his shots depending on the day. He also needs to focus on following the energy of the team so that he doesn't get left behind on pushes, but overall he is a very capable, very consistent marine who should be welcome addition in the starting lineup for this squad.

somera

For many seasons now we have touted the good qualities of Danny - he is a consistent, quality marine who is capable of surviving in difficult positions and having breakout performances on occasion. I think many of us who have seen him play just keep expecting him to hit that next gear and become a monster on the field, and all that requires is a little more inventiveness from him in his attack positioning and a touch more accuracy on the AR. He is right on the precipice of being a top-tier marine in this league, and Cocaine would obviously love it if Season 26 was the season that Deadly Danny FINALLY arrived.

Splittah has a lot of upsides and a few notable downsides. For his downsides - Guerilla is fairly inconsistent in his performances on Sundays, frequently unavailable for 'reasons', and often high as a kite in game. That translates to occasionally being out of position and focusing on the wrong player for focus fire at times. But Split also is a really great part of focus-fire groups when he is on, as he uses his streams to corral the opponent into his teammates more often than not. And he is also very cognizant of what's going on in battles adjacent to him, so much that he regularly will start team shooting players in the next coord over even when he has an enemy player practically breathing down his neck. It's an admirable quality that pays dividends for his teammates and I don't think he gets the recognition for the unselfish play that he deserves frequently. All that said he is a total plumber. ;)

victim

Is Victim the best medic in the game - no. But he has improved leaps and bounds in the past four seasons, now firmly cemented as one of the most consistent, solid medics a team could have. He is always available for practice while contributing a huge amount to the league, and he brings a group cohesion that this team benefits from. He is great at managing his energy use, above average at offensive assisting be it PDW or grenades, and much improved in recent seasons at overall positioning and avoiding consequential deaths. Voted best medic of Season 25, Victim is going to be a invaluable asset to his squad this season as a starting medic.

Spartacus

In seasons past Dave has been a real factor in this league, both as a quality player and as a leader. He brings a jovial attitude to a squad, while at the same time encouraging talented, deliberate play from his teammates. Dave's best role is probably the AT class, where he excels as a 2nd flank/solo scout, but that may not be what Cocaine needs from him, in which case he is a very serviceable marine who could easily start for this squad, but I wouldn't expect him to make many of their matches given his history and the existence of other games and activities.